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Altars

by Spencer LaJoye

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1.
Winsome weakness Getting high on the incense and innocence Sacred secret Heavy doors, wooden floors, holy wine And all my friends and faces I don't recognize formalize every body moving perfectly in sync And the stained glass beats the stained glass beats I'm a little sharp on the edges, but forgive it we'll make something sweet And the stained glass beats The people speak Sweet Cecilia, show me the sun Stoned sinless Blending in with the buzz of the born again Vogue vision Roaring bands, blurry hands, blinding light And all those friendly voices singing paradise verify every body thinking perfectly in sync And the stained glass beats the stained glass beats I'm a little sharp on the edges, but forgive it we'll make something sweet And the stained glass beats The people speak Sweet Cecilia, show me the sun Now I just hear you, listening in from Jefferson I can still feel the rainbow sunlight on my skin And all of our eyes take for granted the glass shattered pieces made new That's just my heart you're looking right through And the stained glass beats the stained glass beats I'm a little sharp on the edges, forgive it we'll make something, something sweet And the stained glass beats the stained glass beats I'm a little sharp on the edges, but forgive it we'll make something sweet And the stained glass beats The people speak Sweet Cecilia, show me the sun
2.
Control 05:09
I’m out of the gate I’m out of my mind I’m out of the thing I need to keep you satisfied Don’t ask me again To put you at ease I’m the one who can’t avoid the flame, til it threatens to retreat I’m not the one If I even had a say at all Trust me, babe, I said I’m not the one But I don’t have a say at all I’m out of my control I’m out of my control I saw the fire, and the fire wouldn’t haunt me But I can’t fight the waves I’m out of my own… Control I locked every door I melted the key Applauding the heat for putting on a show with me Don’t ask me again How I’m out in the rain When nothing is adding up, I know you know, that there’s always one to blame I’m not the one If I even had a say at all Trust me, babe, I said I’m not the one But I don’t have a say at all I’m out of my control I’m out of my control I saw the fire, and the fire wouldn’t haunt me But I can’t fight the waves I’m out of my own… Control Go ahead, Be the one to call the shots now Go ahead, Be the one to take a stand For the plan that you knew all the way Play the faithful hand, oh Go ahead, Tell me I’m not gonna last, now Go ahead, Ask me “Are you ready, yet?” I was set with a net of your ropes, but it broke So I’m left with more than you ever dared to hope I’m out of control I'm out of my control Go ahead, Be the one to call the shots now Go ahead, Be the one to take a stand For the plan that you knew all the way Play the faithful hand, oh Go ahead, Tell me I’m not gonna last, now Go ahead, Ask me “Are you ready, yet?” I was set with a net of your ropes, but it broke So I’m left with more than you ever dared to hope I’m out of control I’m out of my control I saw the fire, and the fire wouldn’t haunt me But I can’t fight the waves I’m out of my own… Control I saw the fire, and the fire wouldn’t haunt me But I can’t fight the waves I’m out of my own… Control
3.
I thought for sure If we met up for drinks I'd feel everything I'd consume the sight of you The past in a glass But I know for sure that I don't recognize your face anymore Were you always keeping face? My stupid faith in your transcendent grace Like sovereignty could ever be humane How could you? How could you make me believe that in order for me to be free I need more of you and less of me? Where's your humanity? You called me up Just to remind me that you'd die So I could live And to nail me to a tree of ignorance You fucked me up Put on that mask again so I might understand How you ever made me think I owe you everything How could you? How could you make me believe that in order for me to be free I need more of you and less of me? Is it really love if I can't feel it when I'm in it? Where's your humanity? How could you? How could you make me believe that in order for me to be free I need more of you and less of me? Where's your humanity?
4.
What did I do to you When I told you I'm a human, too? What did I do to you When I broke this bread to share with you? Why would you disown me? What did I do? Jesus Did I hurt your Christ? Did my freedom weave his crown? Did my love nail him down? Was it too much for him to rise? What did I do to you? Did my claim to worth threaten you? What did I do to you? Did my crimson stain your red, white, and blue? Were you scared by my empty tomb? Are you dying here? What did I do? Deny me Deny me Deny me I'm dying here What do I do to you? I rise I rise I rise I rise I rise I rise I rise.
5.
Pulled my own tooth earned just enough to buy the hot food sick of packing my own lunch Brand new jeans and a ride to school Better believe that the ride was full There's something 'bout everything that seems so small when it's handed right to you "Use it well" Well for whom? I never knew but do I know you? On whose shoulders is the world I use? Kyrie, Eleison Laoi, Eleisate Do I know you? Do I know you? On whose shoulders is the world I use? On whose shoulders is the world I use? On whose shoulders is the world I use?
6.
Sometimes 04:22
They sing it like they're really happy They sing it like they're really free They sing it like they are a sparrow They sing like they believe Sometimes it's hard to hear you Sometimes it's hard to remember to want to Sometimes it's hard to fall apart in your arms When I'd rather not at all Sometimes I think I'll never know Sometimes I think that I knew it too long ago Sometimes I think that if I blink, I will sink but that can't be bad, I think Will you take my sometimes? Take them every time and make them into something you can take? Sometimes I change my mind a lot Sometimes I change the foundations of every thought Sometimes I change to take the pain and arrange it into something I can take Wish I could sing it 'cause I'm happy Wish I could sing it 'cause I'm free Wish I could sing it like a sparrow and sing like I believe Will you take my sometimes? Take them every time and make them into something you can take? Will you take my sometimes? Take them every time and make them into something I can take?
7.
Barely breathing the world is hardly hanging on More than ever your world seems so strong Tie the strings 'round my heart then turn out the light We will sleep we will wake before it's right Like neither can live while the other survives Just can't get a grip on it 'cause your heart is mine My hands touched those keys my tongue, that wine My lips touched the feast My eyes saw the light My feet keep trying to move me alive 'cause if my body can survive, so will I The world that rejects you the world that accepts you the living, the dying collide in our bodies My body's alive in your world and mine My body's alive in your world and mine My body's alive. My hands touched those keys my tongue, that wine My lips touched the feast My eyes saw the light My feet keep trying to move me alive 'cause if my body can survive, if my body can survive, if my body can survive, so will I My body's alive.
8.
Grandma 03:01
Wash your hands, girls Clear as your pearls in my mind Sunday chimes Whiter than you, Grandma Sue I wish that you could see me now. I've found the quiet, magic holy in the skin you know so well. Dressed in flowers Counting the hours in my mind Sunday chimes Whiter than me, donning dreams I wish that we could see me now. I've found the quiet, magic holy in the skin you know so well.
9.
Knotted Up 04:42
Bowing on the inside to a shrine that gets better with time You want me to take the high road, but I miss how it feels to be devoted I sit here at the fork, strung high, laying low 'Cause I've been one way before And I'd rather be knot, knot, knotted up I'm indeterminable I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm questionable I'm a problem, I'm a problem so happily. You won't come over 'cause I keep leaving open the door You want me to shut your ex out But there's always more bread to go around I sit here at the fork, strung high, laying low 'Cause I've been one way before And I'd rather be knot, knot, knotted up I'm indeterminable I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm questionable I'm a problem, I'm a problem so happily. Find the end of a string, and follow it into the middle of everything holding hands with the enemy, dine with your regrets and with your dreams Find the end of a string, and follow it into the middle of everything I'm a fascinating fastening You can't unravel me unravel me I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm indeterminable I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm questionable I'm a problem, I'm a problem I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm indeterminable I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm questionable I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm indeterminable I'm knot, knot, knotted up I'm questionable I'm a problem, I'm a problem I'm a problem, I'm a problem I'm a problem, I'm a problem so happily.
10.
Give It All 03:36
Is it better, Holding breath that your Lungs just want to breathe? In a moment Just a moment It takes to spill And it will fill every space in between I’ll give it all to you Every piece of my peace of mind Every tear that I have cried Give it all to me Maybe we can teach each other how to breathe And how to be Are you tired of Picking sides When you’re fighting With yourself? Let a word out Let 'em hear now Let it spill And it will fill every space in between I’ll give it all to you Every piece of my peace of mind Every tear that I have cried Give it all to me Maybe we can teach each other how to breathe And how to be So give it all, give it all, give it all, give it all So give it all, give it all to me So give it all, give it all, give it all, give it all Give it all I’ll give it all to you Every piece of my peace of mind Every tear that I have cried Give it all to me Maybe we can teach each other how to breathe And how to be Maybe we can teach each other how to breathe And how to be
11.
You Are 03:07
Faint spirit, dressed in all of the pieces that once made your heart Prisoner, stuck between safety and doors that are open Faint spirit, bound by all of the hurt so you don't fall apart Tears slipping out of the place you forgot was still broken I'm telling you I'm telling you You are sown to be grown You are clothed in a robe made of dreams sweeter than home made of more than you ever hoped You are, you are, you are Get off your knees and dance 'til your feet turn this dust into soil, that ash into oil I'm telling you You are sown to be grown You are clothed in a robe made of dreams sweeter than home made of more than you ever hoped

about

"Altars" is an eclectic, 11-song journey through disenchantment to a declaration of human sacredness. For the first time in four years, LaJoye’s pop/folk, rhythm guitar-driven songs come to life in full band arrangements, as well as collaborations with artists specializing in ambient electronica and analog synth production.

credits

released February 23, 2018

Songs written and arranged by Jenny LaJoye
Recorded and mixed by Katelin Champion
"What Did I Do" and "Sometimes" mixed by Chris DuPont
Mastered by Daniel Vandebunte
Photography by Maeve Leslie
Design by Hannah LaJoye

Jenny LaJoye: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Piano, and Violin
Gary Russell: Drums
Jon Zinanti: Bass
Michael Stanford: Electric Guitar
Chris DuPont: “What Did I Do” Back Vocals, Guitars, and OP-1
“Sometimes” Additional Guitar and Mandolin
Christian Fiore: “Stained Glass Beats” Instrumental Track

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Spencer LaJoye Denver, Colorado

Spencer LaJoye is an East Coast singer/songwriter from the Midwest making queer indie folk music for everyone. The 2021 Kerrville Songwriting Competition winner spins crystalline vocals through a loop pedal while strumming an acoustic guitar in charming, banter-heavy performances that keep audiences laughing one moment and weeping the next. ... more

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